Today the new season of The Walking Dead started up, and I couldn’t help but think about you and how we used to make plans to watch that show, and other shows, and how we would get excited to hang out on the catch and eat dinner together on nights when our shows were on, even when they were dumb shows.  I miss you a lot, and I miss how we were able to make a date out of any activity.  I don’t think I’m ever going to find that with anyone else.

Lately though I’ve been wondering if only I enjoyed doing that.  Maybe you were bored by that type of date, and maybe you were bored with me for a lot longer than I ever realized.  I hope that isn’t the case, but lately it’s been hard not to look at the evidence of our breakup and your attitude towards helping me out and it’s hard not to come to that conclusion.  I’ve been wondering if you are acting the way you are with regard to helping me with my legal problems because you know that if you don’t do anything to help, that you will permanently and completely burn every bridge that you’ve built between me, my family, and my friends over the years, and that by doing so you will ensure that our breakup is final and permanent.  If that is the case, it is really sad, but it’s also working in terms of my friends and family, but it won’t work for me.  I will always love you, and I will always miss you.

Today one of my friends called you batshit crazy for not helping me out and for acting the way you’ve been acting, and I defended you. I told him that while you have been acting naively and selfishly with regards to helping me and my lawyer make these unfair charges go away, you are definitely not crazy. I’m obviously way more crazy than you based on the way on acted on our final night together. I said that you are just in a lot of pain, and that it’s possible that you are in feeling really guilty too.

Anyways, if you didn’t find our stay in dates to be lame and boring, I was wondering tonight if you were also watching The Walking Dead, and if you were, if you missed me at all, because I missed you like crazy, just like I miss you everyday.  This whole breakup has been so messy because of my actions that I fear I will never see you again, and I desperately wish I could change that night, because I lost both you and all of your friends and family, and that is a lot of loss to deal with.  But worst of all is the loss of you.  I still hope for a healing and a reconciliation with you in the future, but if that never happens, then I hope I can give you this letter, and that you will one day know how sorry I am, and how much I love you.


You best friend forever,


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