Hey Marnie,

I saw that Kristen and Jordan had their wedding last Friday, and it made me sad that I wasn’t going to be there.  I know they are your friends, and while I was kind of bummed that I wasn’t going to be there with them to celebrate, I was more disappointed that I wasn’t going to be able to be there with you, and even more so because I realized that I am never going to be able to share a wedding and a marriage with you. 

Because I was missing you especially badly over the weekend, I found your facebook profile again and looked for your OkCupid profile.  It’s not like I’m stalking you, but that’s the only way I can have anything to do with you now that I’ve deleted your phone number.  I saw that you had deleted your dating profile, which made me wonder if you have already met someone who you really like.  I also saw a picture of you on Teryl’s profile where you were obviously celebrating your 30th birthday together, and you looked so happy, and so content, and like you were having so much fun, that I realized how incredibly and completely unhappy I must have made you.  I had realized before that you were hurt and disappointed by a number of things, but I was too self-involved and unaware before to see how miserable you were in the relationship.  You must have felt that way for a long time, and it’s a testament to your kindness that you stayed as long as you did out of fear that I would hurt myself.  I’m sorry that I kept you stuck and unhappy for so long, and I am glad that you have found happiness again, and I don’t blame you for not missing me.  I realize how tiring and frustrating it must have been to deal with my ordering you around, giving you unwanted advice all the time, and criticizing so much of what you did.  Nobody would like that, and it’s no surprise that you are much, much happier now than you ever were with me.

I hope you did meet somebody, whether it was online or in real life, because you deserve happiness, and you wasted so much time with me that I fear I put you behind track in achieving the things that you want out of life.  I bet that just about anyone you meet will seem kind, caring, fun, and nice in comparison to me. Plus, on top of all the negative comparisons to me, you are an amazing woman.  You are beautiful, both spiritually and physically, and you are smart and funny and so much fun to be around.  I never realized just how much I like spending time with you until I was no longer able to do so.  Now that I can’t, my life is more less fun and interesting, and I am so lonely that it brings a lump to my throat on a daily basis.  None of this is your fault, it just shows how amazing you really are.  I’m so sorry that I took that for granted so often, and if there was only one thing that I could tell you, I would want to apologize for treating you poorly and for taking you for granted. 

I also miss your body so much, even though I complained about it when we were together.  Your ass and tits and vagina are all incomparable, and if I could do things over, I would compliment you more on your physical characteristics, and I would explore them and love them and make you feel as sexy as you really are.  I miss your perky, pink nipples, and your smooth and perfectly shaped labia and clit. I wish I would have spend more time playing with your clit and pleasuring you the way that you so often pleasured me. 

Anyways, I apologize for the previous paragraph, I know it must seem creepy and inappropriate, but I just wanted you to know that I miss almost everything about you.  I am glad that you are so happy, and I’m so sorry that I kept you from that happiness for so long.



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